Times running out

I can't find a co-signer with good credit. It's already hard enough to ask someone to be one for you. It's like asking them to take a bullet for you, in a way. Seems like I'm the only responsible one that pays on time. I don't play when it comes to money. I will be a hermit for a while, grow hair on my legs, or whatever, before I miss a payment.
I can't just let it go. All the stress and the time to fill out the college applications....writing essays. It feels like I've been waiting so long for this and this crap comes out of nowhere. A friend said that I should put school off for a year.
No. I have to fight for this, even if it doesn't turn out the way I hope it will.

The beginning...when everything was new and exciting.

I miss it. Maybe because I wasn't emotionally attached before. Or maybe I was attached and I was in denial the entire time. Now I'm stuck in this rut, since I know for sure now that I did have a chance and it's too late now. That's what I get for being indecisive/in denial. It hurts....only time can heal, it's going to be long and painful.
I don't even understand why I'm attracted to him in the first place. I'm not a shallow person but his physical appearance is very.....he has two obvious abnormalities. I overlook them....I tend to overlook flaws when I like a guy's personality. What's bugging me is the fact that he smokes cigarettes and gets high by smoking pot. I tend to stay away from drug users and smokers but I don't know where my attraction for him is coming from. He is not right for me as I am not right for him. It's probably the whole "opposites attract" deal. I truly hope that this situation don't turn into a big, horrible mess.

Choice #1

Finally graduated from GTC and I'm hoping that I get accepted to the college I applied to. I should apply to University of Arizona but I'm not sure yet.

Now I play the waiting game....