I can't believe I had the balls to audition!!

I'm so proud of myself, even if I don't get a part in that play. At first, I was scared about having to do cold readings from the script especially since I never heard of the play before. But the tiny theater was a pretty relaxed environment and the other folks who were at the audition were really nice people. I was shy, didn't really interact with the others (except when I had to go on stage) but nonetheless, I still had fun being there, watching others and reciting lines myself. This was my first time auditioning for this theater, well, any theater besides high school. I've always seen postings from this theater in the past for other play auditions and I kinda regret not going to those. I never went because of fear.

But hey, I went this time and came out extremely happy =]

Busy Bee

Tuesday, there will be auditions for a play called "Leaving Iowa". I was thinking about going to it. Even though the posting said that past theater experience is not required, I'm still nervous about it. I was in a musical back in high school and I remember the auditions and how mortified I was. I was inexperienced then and still am. But being a part of that musical was unbelievably fun. I miss being part of a production.

Yet...I have lots of stuff that I need to get done. I'm debating whether or not to get a second job to help with the cost of my school and bills. When I move down to Chicago, I don't know how long it will take me to find a job. I filed for financial aid already but it's mostly loans...

Plus, who would hire me here to work for them for only 4 months? >.<
That Christmas season is coming up pretty soon so I might have a chance at that.

I don't know what to do yet. I'll figure it out soon...

Can't Wait

Yesterday, I went to Chicago to visit the school I plan on attending this spring. I seriously can't wait to go. Like my brother said, "It's a whole different world down there." It was scary and exciting all in one. Just awesome. Turns out that I was too early to do anything yet like scheduling, etc. The counselor gave me kudos on getting things done early as possible though. I have to wait till November to go to open house and orientation. Or January. I forgot which. The bad thing is that everything is early in the morning. My family wants to go with me to orientation and open house to check the school out. I don't mind that at all, I was actually surprised that they wanted to go. The thing is though, they are never on time for anything (except work). Ever. They were late to my brother's wedding a couple of years ago and my brother told them the wrong time on purpose (an earlier time) just so they can make it. That didn't even work. Well, I'll see how that goes.

A cop made my day <3

Who'd of thought that it would ever happen?? Sunday, I was waiting for my brother at a train station parking lot, listening to music with the car door wide open (there were a lot of bees flying around and if one happens to fly in, I can easily escape). I didn't notice the cop driving by and he parked right next to me and asked if everything was alright. He thought that I was stranded but everything was working fine and I told him I was waiting for my brother. I was feeling really bummed out that day and I guess he saw that in my face. He asked me what was wrong. I told him what was on my mind....after listening to what I had to say, he gave me some words of wisdom. Just lifted my spirits.....it's amazing what good things that strangers can do. And one that's a cop! Usually, they tend to ruin people's days, lol. I'm grateful for that conversation that we had.

Too soon?

So yeah, I faced my fears and told my crush about how I felt about him. He told me that he felt the same way but that we should just remain friends. That he's stressed out about some things in his life at the moment and don't want to start anything yet.

I don't believe what he told me. That's just a nicer way of saying no or not interested, I'm sure. But that's ok. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm proud of myself actually since this is a pretty big step for me. Usually, I wait for guys to come up to me. And if they don't, then in the end I missed out (kinda) for not taking that tiny risk.

Alright, my first ^_^

This is my first blog award and I am excited ^_^
Thank you so much Karilynnlove for giving me this award! I'm speechless, lol.

I believe it stands for Humor + Insane = Humane, lol :P

The Rules:
*Accept and post the award to your blog
*Link to the person from whom you received it
*Pass the award to 5 other blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgement
*Let them know they have been chosen for this award

People I nominated:
Ana Cristina
Otin
Rachel

Ok, it's only 3 blogs, I know. Maybe I just felt like rebelling a little.

This was not supposed to happen

Nothing can be done to prevent it from happening since my heart is not made of stone. Though at times, I wish it was. I try to build walls, and I do but it seems pretty pointless since they are easily broken. Haha, I'm the one that breaks them down for that one person to come through. So I can be vulnerable and endure the pain that comes my way.

"You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"

-Regina Spektor

(Because secretly, we're all masochists.)

What a way to blow that cute phrase, huh? Haha, I'm joking. But it is truly hard to act like your heart was never broken. It's kinda like that whole "learning not to touch the stove" situation for me. I got hurt. Several times with different guys. Ok, what to do to prevent it from happening again? The answer is nothing. There is nothing that anyone can do except to build walls and even those fall.

Now...to tell or not to tell. I'm afraid to tell my crush how I feel. It's kinda insane to think that it's scary to tell someone:

Simple little words with so much meaning.