Sunday, November 15, 2009

Losing It

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.
You can't believe it; you were always singing along.
It was so easy and the words so sweet.
You can't remember; you try to feel the beat.
- Regina Spektor

I don't know the exact meaning of the song but I found a meaning that relates to me in that phrase. Losing something and struggling hard to get it back. Seems like it's been a long time since I've had any inspiration. The last time I felt it was in July/August. To me that's a long time. And at one point, I thought it was because I stopped seeing Alex. Not that he's an inspiration, but a muse....kinda but not really. It's hard to explain....nearly everything I wrote/created in the summer time, he had some sort of influence (I know, I know. I made no sense whatsoever). When I stopped hanging out with him, I got lazy with song writing/photography/whatever else. Eventually stopped the flow of creativity. I thought to myself jokingly that he stole it. Now that he's back (as friends)'s still missing.

I hate not having it. I don't even know why it left. What is the reason? Whatever the reason is, I hope that it comes back to me.