I concur

Diana: Hey, I got a present for you.

Me: What, why? What's the occasion?

Diana: It's your going away present.

Me: Aww, you didn't have to do that.

Diana: I know but I still want to. Just promise me that if you plan on giving it away, give it to someone that will take care of it. Don't sell it in the black market either.

Me: Oh wow, are you giving me a baby?

Diana: Oh, it's way better than a baby. Haha, listen to me, so materialistic.

Never Fails

They seem to be constantly appearing in my life. Starting to get a little old. Tired of trying to find ways to get around them or find a new road completely.

Love the message that the creator of this photo has given.

"It's not easy to remember that a road block is not the end of the world."

Sometimes it feels like it though.

The Dirty Note(s)

About a week ago, I gave an envelope to Alex at work and told him that it was a really dirty note and to not let anyone read it. I was joking, what was really inside the envelope was four dollars that I owed him. Later on that day, he came up to me and jokingly told me that he was disappointed that it didn't turn out to be a dirty note. As he was walking away, I explained loudly (idiot) that it technically was a note...and that it was dirty. Turned my head and noticed that another co-worker was looking at me but I didn't think anything of it because in my head, this was all innocent. It is innocent! I was joking. But she had no idea what I was talking about. She actually thought I wrote a dirty note.

See? It is a note. And I highly doubt there's a clean dollar bill out there. Well, except for those newly printed ones.

Eventually word got out to another co-worker of mine.
Months ago, he told me that he liked me and was wondering if I wanted to be his girl. I told him that I only wanted to be friends. At first I thought he was genuine. But as time passed on, I realized that he's only lusting over me. I'm upset over this dying friendship but I digress.

Couple of days later, Melvin came up to me and loudly stated, "I heard something about you! When I heard, I started to laugh and thought no way."

Me: Pshh, yeah right. (I'm invisible at work, no one notices me so I seriously thought he was lying.)

Melvin: No for real.

Me: Ok, tell me what you heard.

Melvin: Is it true? (His eyes shifted to the side.)

Me: Is what true? What are you talking about?

Melvin: (whispering) Follow my eyes. (eyes shifted to the side again.)

So I slowly turned my head and saw Alex. Realizing what he was talking about, I started to laugh and shook my head no.

Me: I think I know who told you.

Melvin: Who?

Me: You tell me.

Melvin: Call me later.


Heh, over this crap? No thanks, not worth the phone call. Besides, it's obvious to me who talked. I was just wondering if anyone else knew about it.

Later on that day, Melvin sent me a text. He asked if Alex and I are an item. I replied that we are really good friends. After all of this, seems like Melvin acts differently towards me now. Jealous maybe? I don't know.

Gosh, can I pass "dirty notes" in peace? >.>

1 out of 3

Finally know where I stand in his life.

I am one out of three people that he cares about the most.

The other two are in his family.

This makes me feel so special.

It's good to know that I'm not the only neurotic chick in this world. Sure as hell feels like it though.

Obviously, the reason for feeling alone in this hell is because no one really talks about their problems. Most just repress it, hide it and does a very excellent job doing so. I try but at times, my facial expressions and body language tends to give me away.

I look at myself as this pathetic lost soul that seems to be constantly going in wrong, confusing directions with every step I take. Don't know where my life is going. There's no point in making plans. They never seem to turn out the way I want them to. Might as well go with the flow now. That's how life supposed to be, right?

I've had you so many times

but somehow I want more.


This is (probably) destructive for my mental health
and should stop but I won't.
You're my poison of choice.

Alex: Last night, I woke up around 4 am. I rolled over to hold you, thinking you were still lying next to me. In mid-roll, I remembered you left, then landed on my stomach and felt a sharp pain on my side. I laid there laughing at myself.

Would you do it for $1000?

Well, if someone is willing to buy it for $1000 or more, consider yourself lucky. Would you ever have someone to cut your hair really short for that amount of money? Do you think it's worth it?

Even though I never had a pixie look, it probably won't look right on me. Yet for the right amount of money, I'd cut it in a heartbeat. My hair grows back pretty quickly, so I wouldn't mind the temporary short cut.

But there are some women out there that are serious sellers and take really good care of their hair....I honestly think that $1000 is not worth it. Why? Well, I read different postings about their hair care and they cut their hair after 4 years. Even though they don't use many hair products, high end shampoos aren't cheap, plus the vitamins that they take to keep the hair healthy definitely adds up. Like this chick. Her hair is effin GORGEOUS. I think that it's worth way more than what she sold it for.

I plan on selling my hair, not anytime soon though since I recently got a hair cut. Which will postpone me from doing what I truly want to do with my hair and that's dying it crazy colors.


(Not this intense, though it looks lovely on her)

Which makes me wonder what jobs will I (or anyone) be able to get with crazy hairstyles like that?

There goes my 2 hours

My friend Lupe invited me to go see a movie with her and a couple of her co-workers. The movie was Twilight: Eclipse.

Don't judge me ¬¬
I figured that I should go, so I can spend some time with her since we hardly hang out. Plus she already paid for my ticket, which was nice....also meant that I was forced to go. Heh, joking.

Yeah, not a Twilight fan....I cringed at most of the lines (can't decide if it's bad acting or bad writing) and so-called action scenes. The only thing that's good is the music. Originally, I liked one song that caught my attention during the movie: Let's Get Lost by Beck & Bat For Lashes. When I looked up the soundtrack, I noticed that there were a bunch of artists that I enjoy listening to on it. Very surprised to see Cee-Lo Green (from Gnarls Barkley) on that list.



Even though I cannot stand the Twilight franchise, I would recommend checking out this album. Especially if your into indie rock(and/or pop) music.

My faves

Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

Summer is Finally Here!

Too bad I'm sick, boo! Actually, I'm getting over a cold...still there, lingering. Hopefully it'll go away by this weekend. Not only because of the awesome Greek Festival that's going to happen

(There's nothing Greek about this, I just love that guys expression.)
but because it's also my b-day weekend. I haven't gone to the Greek Fest in years so I plan on going this time, sick or not. If you're curious about what goes on, click on the photo and it'll take you to an article that'll tell you the gist of the festivities.

Holy Shit Son!

Turns out I won't be going to school in Chicago. The college is way too expensive. So I'll be going to a university in Mexico. Hopefully. I'm really scared about this whole situation. Completely different enviroment, language, people, everything! How did I get to this point? Well, my parents got approved for a parent loan but didn't really want to sign the deal. The repayment is way too much for ten years and that's just for one year of schooling in Chicago. So they suggested that I should consider Mexico as an option since some schools down there are cheap (supposedly). So now I have to do all the damn paperwork all over again, and the deadline is pretty freakin close.

I think that I'll be moving sometime in July. Feeling homesick at random times and I haven't left yet, lol. It's funny because for a very long time, I wanted to leave far away from this home, this city (and I still do) but not to a different country.

First Time

I saw a gay couple for the first time on Friday. It's weird but I felt their energy just by walking past them on a crowded sidewalk.

They were cute, holding each other walking along and talking. Made me smile and a little jealous. I want to experience what they have. Love.

Meeting

I had a dream that I met you for the first time.

(Not us, obviously =P)

He didn't look like you....and even then while dreaming, I knew this but went along with it anyway.

I don't know how anyone does it

I'm talking about blogging. Ok, well, blogging isn't really the hard part. The time management part is. Blogging is unbelievably time consuming....I had to take a break from it for a while because I have daily responsibilities to take care of. Seriously, I can sit here and read blogs for HOURS. Plus I'm a procrastinator so it doesn't help me with my time management.

Crazy, crazy, crazy....

Tone deafness can be fun

My first karaoke experience was horrible. At least I think it was my first....that I remember anyways. I was forced to go...yeah, see what had happened was about 3 years ago, a group of friends and I went out to a bar and it was karaoke night. I was in a mellow mood, just wanted to chill out, didn't even have a drink (I couldn't even if I wanted to, I was 19 at the time). My friends were boozing it up, crackin jokes, gossiping, having a good time. Suddenly, I had the urge to go to the bathroom so I went. When I came back, my friend Alison started to laugh and told me she wrote a song and my name on a piece of paper and gave it to the DJ. I'm a horrible singer but despite that fact, I still love to sing. Just not in front of total strangers. And the song she picked was one I didn't even like and hardly knew the words to. I know that the words were on the screen but that doesn't matter. You have to know the melody, rhythm, and etc. The song was Don't Speak by No Doubt. I love the band No Doubt but that song is horrible, I hate it. Haha, I butchered the song since I didn't really know it except for the chorus. Alison sang the song with me but that didn't matter. When we were done, she told me, "See? That wasn't so bad."

WHATEVER. I was embarrassed....probably sounded like I was drunk even though I was the only sober one in the group, lol. One would think that from that awful experience that I would never karaoke again. But no. My second time wasn't so bad. Actually, I had a blast! It was the day after my 21st B-day. So I had a few drinks before I went up there....didn't help with the nerves though. I sang the song horribly but I had fun doing it since it was a song that I knew and loved. The song was Strong Enough by Cher. Yes, CHER, don't hate! lol I even had a small group of people dancing to the song as I sang. That made me really happy.

When I told that story to my co-worker, she got excited. She always wanted to do karaoke but couldn't find anyone that was willing to do it with her. Now she's dying to go with me and a couple of other folks from work. Don't know when this is going to happen. And I want to "practice" some songs before this day, if it ever comes. I just don't know what's considered good karaoke songs. Most of the songs that I cherish are unbeknownst to the mainstream crowd.

The song that I truly want to sing next is Beggin' by Frankie Valli. But all I find on the internet is the Pilooski re-edit remix.

Since I haven't heard the original, I don't know how much of a difference it is.
Maybe I should do some Journey or AC/DC....

"Yeah you, shook me all night long!!"

Ahh yeah <3
I'm getting nervous and excited just thinking about performing. It's so fun even just watching others sing songs whether they are good or bad at it. I love karaoke.

Snow Day!

Even though I cannot stand the snow, I'm kinda happy that we are getting about 10 inches today, I think. I don't know why I'm happy about this! Plus I have 3 kids to watch at the moment since they don't have school because of the storm. I want to go out and build a snowman with them. It'll just be a plain one though. I don't have any scarves or hats for it. Are snowmen just a holiday thing?

Oh well, one is going to get made today =]

Weakness

My friend Anthony told me that the fact that I try to see the good in everyone is a weakness. Some people are just born evil.

What do you think?

Not the same

Friday night with Alex was....meh. We went to see a movie and then hung out at his place afterwards. I try to make conversation but whatever I talk about, dies pretty quickly. Making conversation with anyone is a pretty difficult task for me to do.

With Alex, it's just damn near impossible. I can't really open up to him and be myself around him anymore. Now I'm just up-tight, quiet...BORING. Ahh, I don't like to be thought of as a boring person! -.-

Reacquainted

Had a meeting at work the other day. We were all forced to go so that meant I was going to see Alex. The whole time I was able to avoid him at work but not this time. I was kinda nervous to go because I didn't know what to say when I saw him...couldn't even decide if I should say anything at all. The moment I walked through the doors, he was the first person I saw. Didn't recognize him at first, had to do a double take. He grew out his hair....normally, he just shaves his head. I smiled, walked over to him, opened my arms and gave him a hug. Surprised myself, didn't expect that to be my reaction. Also hate admitting that I missed him. I haven't seen him since the last days of summer....I had to walk away, what we had was torture.

After the meeting, we talked for a little bit, catching up. And made plans to hang out later on today. Not really nervous but....I don't know, I'll see how it goes.

Rotting Away

Hmm, I wonder what class I'd be in at the moment if I was in school this semester. I think that today was supposed to be the first day of class. Move-in day was last week.

I can feel my brain rotting away since I'm currently not in school.

Hopefully, I'll be attending in August but until then, I would like to start reading some books. I just don't know where to start. So I was wondering if anyone out there could recommend anything? Doesn't matter what genre it's in, I'm open for anything.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

My piggy bank is almost full and I'm not sure what to spend it on. I was planning on using the money for a haircut but I was thinking about getting a haircut for free. I can get it for free from the technical school I graduated from. Since they are students and need heads to practice on, the cuts are free. But I don't know, that's kinda scary. It'll save me $40 bucks though....and use the money somewhere else. I'm estimating that my piggy bank will turn out to be around $120.
So, what to spend it on?.....

I've been dying to get one of these FOREVER

I don't really care for a screen unless it's the iTouch (my niece has that, so jealous!) and that's way too expensive so it's not an option. Plus I must have my playlist at random all the times. I just don't know what color to get, blue or green?!

Or I should just go for a new bedding set, now that it's on sale.

Ahh, Roxy bedding <3

OR some crazy/weird/cute shoes.

Like neon pumps.

Maybe buy the perfume that I fell in love with.


There are plenty of other things that I want but still not sure what to get. Only time will tell.

Anything inspirational?

I love this....



....even though it's an ad for jeans.

It seems inspirational and moving, even though the whole video probably means nothing at all. I think its the voice and the words make it seem so touching. Too bad I found out about this poem by Walt Whitman from a jean commercial. Does it make me want to go out and buy Levi's jeans? No. But I think the video is beautiful. Why does something so creative end up being a freakin commercial??

Makes me wonder why movies can't be made to move people, more often anyway. I mean really MOVE, touch-the-soul type stuff. Yeah, a really hilarious comedy, mind-numbing action movies are fun to watch but is there anything inspirational out there? Any recommendations?

Well, it doesn't have to be inspirational....something that would touch the soul. The last thing I can remember that moved me was Crash. Yeah....that's long ago.

Go Away

Sometime last week, I received another email from my ex Brandon. Hopefully this will be the last I hear from him. Not sure if I mentioned this but somehow, he found out my number and left me voice messages. The messages stated that he came to my work and saw me but I looked busy so he didn't bother me. That seems kinda stalkerish.
Anyways, here is the email he sent me:

Hey,
It's been a long time. Too long. I find it kind of strange that after almost three years you don't have anything to say to me or even want to talk to me. I thought things would be different after all this time, but I guess instead of talking to me, you just give me the silent treatment, I had no idea that people still pull that high school game and not talk to someone they once knew. Good luck in with school.
---Brandon


Ok, it's been a little over 2 years but whatever. I don't feel like wasting anymore time. A year with him and his mom was more than enough. He needs to get over it already.

Oh crap, he's back.

The moment I came into work yesterday, my friend Anthony had to tell me something. He handed me the schedule and pointed at a name. "NO WAY, HE'S BACK!", I shouted and Anthony started to laugh. Alex came back to work here. I'm having mixed feelings about this. He was my summer "fling". (eww, hate that word.)
I couldn't stop smiling and yet I know that if I run into him, that it'll be somewhat awkward between us. I've stopped talking to him since August. I'm sure that I can avoid him most of the time and keep our encounters at a minimum. But do I want to?

(Don't be stupid! Remember what you went through and walk away...)